"To Love Is To Be Vulnerable"

I recently found a quote by C.S. Lewis, and it made me stop and reflect. Often times, I'll bemoan my incompetency to be like everyone else (y'know, ride on the bandwagon of marriage). I am not super old, not even 23 years old, but there are frustrating times in my life when I just wish for things I do not have. I could fault all of the men on this planet, listing the initiatives they don't take, etc, but when I read this quote, I wondered about my own ability to be brave and let my walls down long enough for someone to come in. It struck me hard.

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."

It is so true, and I am the type of person who keeps herself from harm as much as she can. I hate being vulnerable, feeling helpless. I'm so stubborn at times, I just might win a mule in a contest. So, when I finally stop and think, I wonder: How much of my own heartache is brought on by my inability to be brave and truly put myself on the line? I can pretend all I want, but the walls have been and currently are firmly secure. When I am in control of the situation, I think I feel happy and secure, but am I truly loving?

I guess it's time for me to test it out, to be brave.