My roommate told me I'm dramatic. In everything I do or say. A little of this is said tongue in cheek, but truthfully, I'd have to say she's right. Question is: How did I get this way? Is this an inherant characteristic or was it shaped by my environment? Got some classic nature vs. nurture debate going on here. The only thing is, I don't know exactly which side I could support more.
I've been rather introspective lately, due to some re-evaluation of my life after doubting myself after yet another relationship debacle (Thank you Jenny, for reintroducing me to that fantastic word). I am such a goober. I think I'm ready for the world and then I realized how unprepared I am.
My roommate (the same one how told me I'm dramatic) and I have been talking a lot. She's very forthright with me and tells me exactly how she sees it. She tells me that I ward off guys that I think that I don't like, and that I always say bad things about and to myself concerning lots of things: body image, relationships, friendships, etc. I am really hard on myself, and make it deliberately that way.
Do I do it to put more drama in my life, because I'm a drama addict? Or do I put it as a safeguard against my true feelings which I hardly ever express to others? I really don't know. There's gonna be a lot of soulsearching going on this summer. Which is a good thing. I have spent most of my life trying to be what everyone else wants me to be, so it would be a good thing to find the person in my inmost core.
Well, I started to write because I was still wired from my nap today, and I am finally getting tired. Until next time, I'm signing off, hopefully to come back a more well-rounded me.
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