I was listening to my music this morning, and I came across a song I hadn't heard for a while. It's from the "A Walk to Remember" soundtrack, and Mandy Moore and Jonathan Forman (lead singer of Switchfoot) sing it. I know there's lots of people who hate Mandy Moore, but I think she's alright and I love Switchfoot. I don't know who to attribute the lyrics to, but they're fantastic. The lyrics combined with the melody drove it home to me as a sad, yet very poigant song of lost love. Yes, depressing songs/poetry seem to be my favorite kind, but it's not all of the things I like.
Someday We'll Know
Ninety miles outside Chicago
I can't stop driving I don't know why
So many questions, I need an answer
Two years later, you're still on my mind
Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart?
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
Is true love is just once in a lifetime?
Did the captain of the Titanic cry?
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you
Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?
What the wind says when she cries?
I'm speeding by the place that I met you
For the ninty-seventh time, tonight
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know that I was the one for you
I want to take you to the end of the rainbow
Watch the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me, tonight?
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you
Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know that I was the one for you
Mentally chew on these lyrics awhile. They might surprise you.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
96 hours and counting...
I know that you are probably wondering (for all 5 of you that follow my blog, haha), "Didn't she say she wanted to blog about her English teaching experiences?" And all you've gotten is my rotten poetry instead.
Well, for every month of my internship, I have to report the number of hours I've spent working on things for the class. I was pretty shocked. In September, I put in 42 hours for my internship. I expected my hours to drop for the second month, because I didn't have as many meetings last month. But I was wrong.
I put in 54 hours in October, which puts my total at 96 hours. I only need 150 hours to satisfy the internship requirement. That seemed like an insane amount of hours, and I wasn't sure I could do it. I'm pretty sure it's not going to be a problem to get there by the second week of December.
I want to say, I really LOVE teaching. It is stressful, to be sure, but I've learned so much by being a teacher. I'm beginning to see my strengths and weaknesses in my teaching, and in my language skills. as well as in my whole person. It has given me confidence, and I know I can hold my own in front of strangers.
My students are the best. They are such hard workers, and they always do their homework. They really want to achieve and succeed in English, and they do their best.
It was hard at first to gain a mutual understanding. I have two Spanish speakers (from Mexico and Ecuador), two Japanese speakers, and a French speaker from the African country Mali. They all learn in different ways, each one being accustomed to learning his or her own way. But we work together to learn from each other as they continue to get better at English.
They are very kind, and I have had really no attitude problems with them. They respect my position, even though I am younger than three of them. They help out and aren't afraid to ask questions. I LOVE that!
I think that very beginning levels are the best to teach, because you can see the learning curve so much better. When I think of what my students were capable of doing at the beginning of the semester, it's staggering to see how far they've come.
Most of them had literally no verbal skills when they began, but now they are able to relate a summary of the outside of class reading they have. Their ability to maintain new vocabulary is amazing. I wish I had their skill with that. Memorizing vocabulary has always been the hardest thing for me.
I only have a month and a half left with them, and I am sad to think I can't keep teaching them. I am so blessed to have gotten this experience, because it's one that an undergrad has never been able to do until now. The Lord has blessed me with a great life right now.
Well, for every month of my internship, I have to report the number of hours I've spent working on things for the class. I was pretty shocked. In September, I put in 42 hours for my internship. I expected my hours to drop for the second month, because I didn't have as many meetings last month. But I was wrong.
I put in 54 hours in October, which puts my total at 96 hours. I only need 150 hours to satisfy the internship requirement. That seemed like an insane amount of hours, and I wasn't sure I could do it. I'm pretty sure it's not going to be a problem to get there by the second week of December.
I want to say, I really LOVE teaching. It is stressful, to be sure, but I've learned so much by being a teacher. I'm beginning to see my strengths and weaknesses in my teaching, and in my language skills. as well as in my whole person. It has given me confidence, and I know I can hold my own in front of strangers.
My students are the best. They are such hard workers, and they always do their homework. They really want to achieve and succeed in English, and they do their best.
It was hard at first to gain a mutual understanding. I have two Spanish speakers (from Mexico and Ecuador), two Japanese speakers, and a French speaker from the African country Mali. They all learn in different ways, each one being accustomed to learning his or her own way. But we work together to learn from each other as they continue to get better at English.
They are very kind, and I have had really no attitude problems with them. They respect my position, even though I am younger than three of them. They help out and aren't afraid to ask questions. I LOVE that!
I think that very beginning levels are the best to teach, because you can see the learning curve so much better. When I think of what my students were capable of doing at the beginning of the semester, it's staggering to see how far they've come.
Most of them had literally no verbal skills when they began, but now they are able to relate a summary of the outside of class reading they have. Their ability to maintain new vocabulary is amazing. I wish I had their skill with that. Memorizing vocabulary has always been the hardest thing for me.
I only have a month and a half left with them, and I am sad to think I can't keep teaching them. I am so blessed to have gotten this experience, because it's one that an undergrad has never been able to do until now. The Lord has blessed me with a great life right now.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Two Emotions Captured in a Moment
Melancholy
Rain trickles down my windshield
slowly, haphazardly.
Like a traveler in a snowstorm.
Dingy clouds move in and out
of the sky as often as
the thoughts
in my stream of consciousness.
Beethoven playing in a minor key
on the radio.
I turn it up to deter my thoughts.
Unsuccessful.
Sigh.
Joy
A belly laugh and a big grin.
I see children throwing leaves.
Red, orange, yellow, brown.
The incessant crackle and crunch.
The crisp air enters my lungs,
invigorating my soul.
Someone's made a big pile.
Is it big enough for me?
Heart racing, I jump.
I'm flying.
Rain trickles down my windshield
slowly, haphazardly.
Like a traveler in a snowstorm.
Dingy clouds move in and out
of the sky as often as
the thoughts
in my stream of consciousness.
Beethoven playing in a minor key
on the radio.
I turn it up to deter my thoughts.
Unsuccessful.
Sigh.
Joy
A belly laugh and a big grin.
I see children throwing leaves.
Red, orange, yellow, brown.
The incessant crackle and crunch.
The crisp air enters my lungs,
invigorating my soul.
Someone's made a big pile.
Is it big enough for me?
Heart racing, I jump.
I'm flying.
I am freaking out!!!!!!
Okay, I'm finally realizing how close my brother is to getting home. It is insane. A week from Friday. Yeah. Well, I understand that everything will be weird at first (that's what everyone says, anyway), but I have missed him so much. I was not the best at writing him, which would seem to be the telltale sign that I missed him the most, but really I felt a big gaping hole in my life.
He has been with me since the beginning. We were the best of buds in our younger years, always getting into scrapes and getting scrapes, bruises, and goose eggs. When we reached the age of 12 and 14, respectively, things changed quite a bit. We weren't interested in hanging together anymore. This lasted for about 4 years.
High school was different, where we finally came back to level ground, and we did do some stuff together again. In fact, we were in the same school dance group once. That was fun. :)
Then I went off to college, and he finished up his high school days, gaining some really great friends along the way. He spent a lot of time with them, but always remembered me. He would tell me that he missed our talks, and whenever I was home for a break, we'd usually talk into the wee hours of the night, sometimes getting in trouble for it.
Then, when I moved home, the summer before he left on his mission, I finally felt like we got to build our friendship up to where it was as strong as when we were kids. We did activities together, had late night talks, and he helped me see a lot of my strengths and weaknesses, and also was the first to cheer up my gloomy days. Granted, our friendship was different than when we were kids, but I couldn't stop sobbing when he gave me his last hug for two years at the MTC almost two years ago.
I had an interesting/hard time the first year he was gone. Since, I am horrible at letters, I never wrote, but I drew strength from the letters he sent the family. We grew closer when I started writing him consistently in his last 8 months. It was a great comfort to have someone rooting for me, and giving me advice in some of the most growing months I've ever had.
But now he's coming home. And will have to be a grownup alongside me, making life altering decisions such as college major, who to date, what to be when he grows up, and who to marry. In my mind, he's still my 19 year old brother, but then I know he's not. It's really a bizarre feeling.
And true to my worry-wart nature, I am concerned for him, because I want him to not have to go through the trials that I know he will have to go through. Also, I'm feeling selfish. Adam is loved by a lot of people, and I want them all to get to be around him, but I wish that he and I could have a little while to be best of buds again. It probably won't happen, but it's been a secret wish of mine.
I am excited, apprehensive, joyful, and jealous all wrapped together. And it's still nine days. I wonder what it will be like next week. Haha.
He has been with me since the beginning. We were the best of buds in our younger years, always getting into scrapes and getting scrapes, bruises, and goose eggs. When we reached the age of 12 and 14, respectively, things changed quite a bit. We weren't interested in hanging together anymore. This lasted for about 4 years.
High school was different, where we finally came back to level ground, and we did do some stuff together again. In fact, we were in the same school dance group once. That was fun. :)
Then I went off to college, and he finished up his high school days, gaining some really great friends along the way. He spent a lot of time with them, but always remembered me. He would tell me that he missed our talks, and whenever I was home for a break, we'd usually talk into the wee hours of the night, sometimes getting in trouble for it.
Then, when I moved home, the summer before he left on his mission, I finally felt like we got to build our friendship up to where it was as strong as when we were kids. We did activities together, had late night talks, and he helped me see a lot of my strengths and weaknesses, and also was the first to cheer up my gloomy days. Granted, our friendship was different than when we were kids, but I couldn't stop sobbing when he gave me his last hug for two years at the MTC almost two years ago.
I had an interesting/hard time the first year he was gone. Since, I am horrible at letters, I never wrote, but I drew strength from the letters he sent the family. We grew closer when I started writing him consistently in his last 8 months. It was a great comfort to have someone rooting for me, and giving me advice in some of the most growing months I've ever had.
But now he's coming home. And will have to be a grownup alongside me, making life altering decisions such as college major, who to date, what to be when he grows up, and who to marry. In my mind, he's still my 19 year old brother, but then I know he's not. It's really a bizarre feeling.
And true to my worry-wart nature, I am concerned for him, because I want him to not have to go through the trials that I know he will have to go through. Also, I'm feeling selfish. Adam is loved by a lot of people, and I want them all to get to be around him, but I wish that he and I could have a little while to be best of buds again. It probably won't happen, but it's been a secret wish of mine.
I am excited, apprehensive, joyful, and jealous all wrapped together. And it's still nine days. I wonder what it will be like next week. Haha.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Each Life That Touches Ours For Good
Yes, it's the name of a hymn. One of my favorites, to be truthful. I know it's usually sung at funerals, but I think it is a beautiful song of gratitude for all friends, whether they're here with us now or they've passed on. Here's the lyrics of verses 2 and 4, which are my favorites:
What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.
For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior's name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord above.
Now, I don't want this to turn into a thankamony or anything like that, but I realized how blessed I have been in the friend department. He has given me people who have lifted me up wherever I've been, and I'm really grateful for that. So I'm going to give a shout-out to the amazing people of my life.
AnnaLee. We've had our ups and downs, but we've weathered through them for 5+ years. That's a sign that we have and continue learning and growing so much with each other. You've been a wonderful shoulder to lay my head on and a sense of stability and reason in my life, and I hope that you feel the same way about me. You are a sister to me.
My Snow friends. You are amazing. I know that no matter where I am in life, I know that we can always get back together and laugh ourselves silly about the fun and stupid things we did. :) You are such an integral part of my life, that I could not be who and where I am right now without you.
My roomies. Britt! You are one of the most giving soul I've ever met, and I've come to admire you so much. You always make me smile. The fact that we were roomies for two straight years and didn't kill each other was amazingly cool, lol. Kristin, Val, and Cami...you are wonderful, kind, tolerant of me and my weirdness and I learned a lot from all of you. A girl couldn't have asked for better roomies than you guys. (or y'all, that was for you, Val)
Amelia. You helped me a lot with the transition from Ephraim to Provo. We grew up together, and our families have always had fun together. We weren't close in high school, but you have shown me such good support and love.
The 13th Wardies. Where could you find such a great group of individuals who have the capacity to all be friends and have fun with each other? You have helped me have more fun than I could ever think to have in a lifetime, and make me feel special whenever I can actually come to activites because of your excitedness to see me. Special thanks to Amanda, Julianne, and Brookie. You bring sunshine and happiness in my life with your warm hugs and encouragement.
My work friends! I am so glad to have met you all: Naarah, Tyler, Collins, Andrew, Melanie, Brooke, Kim, Val, Dave, and Tristan!!! I always know that I have a team that rooting for me, and you do it all the time. You have let me unload my burdens, given me great advice, help me in the whole relationship arena, let me have fun and laugh, and kept me sane day by day, all the while when helping the billions of patrons we get to serve everyday. :) :) :) Val, meeting a book nerd like you who loves the same things I do, has been one of the greatest things I've done. We are kindred spirits and I think we will always be. Tristan, I haven't known you long but I think I will find a kindred spirit in you, too. :)
Rachel, meine Liebe. I could never forget about you. You would have thought that my German class would bring me such a dear friend? You have been such a good person for me, and I love you for it. You said that we're both sane and insane, and it's true. We may not have all of the the same interests, but we have loving souls that needed to meet and help each other. Thank you so much for letting me be an honorary roommate, always wanting to see and talk with me, and just being the loveable you. :)
Finally, last but not least, is my family, both immediate and extended who I consider some of the best people I know. I am fortunate to be close with my siblings and my cousins, and my grandparents and aunts and uncles are always wanting to know what I'm up to, and are some of the first to offer support. My siblings- Cate, Adam, Hannah, Matt, Mike, and Emma: you guys will always be my best friends in life, and I know that I can always depend on you. We are an intense bunch, but we love with a ferocity that you couldn't find anywhere else and that's what binds us so strongly together. Mom and Dad- I could ask for any ones better than you. You are the backbone of my life, and help me accomplish the goals I set, encouraging me along the way. I love you.
Thank you all so much! I know there are so many more people that I didn't mention who have also given me so much in my life. I'm very blessed by your actions and words everyday of my life. I love you all!
What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.
For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior's name,
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord above.
Now, I don't want this to turn into a thankamony or anything like that, but I realized how blessed I have been in the friend department. He has given me people who have lifted me up wherever I've been, and I'm really grateful for that. So I'm going to give a shout-out to the amazing people of my life.
AnnaLee. We've had our ups and downs, but we've weathered through them for 5+ years. That's a sign that we have and continue learning and growing so much with each other. You've been a wonderful shoulder to lay my head on and a sense of stability and reason in my life, and I hope that you feel the same way about me. You are a sister to me.
My Snow friends. You are amazing. I know that no matter where I am in life, I know that we can always get back together and laugh ourselves silly about the fun and stupid things we did. :) You are such an integral part of my life, that I could not be who and where I am right now without you.
My roomies. Britt! You are one of the most giving soul I've ever met, and I've come to admire you so much. You always make me smile. The fact that we were roomies for two straight years and didn't kill each other was amazingly cool, lol. Kristin, Val, and Cami...you are wonderful, kind, tolerant of me and my weirdness and I learned a lot from all of you. A girl couldn't have asked for better roomies than you guys. (or y'all, that was for you, Val)
Amelia. You helped me a lot with the transition from Ephraim to Provo. We grew up together, and our families have always had fun together. We weren't close in high school, but you have shown me such good support and love.
The 13th Wardies. Where could you find such a great group of individuals who have the capacity to all be friends and have fun with each other? You have helped me have more fun than I could ever think to have in a lifetime, and make me feel special whenever I can actually come to activites because of your excitedness to see me. Special thanks to Amanda, Julianne, and Brookie. You bring sunshine and happiness in my life with your warm hugs and encouragement.
My work friends! I am so glad to have met you all: Naarah, Tyler, Collins, Andrew, Melanie, Brooke, Kim, Val, Dave, and Tristan!!! I always know that I have a team that rooting for me, and you do it all the time. You have let me unload my burdens, given me great advice, help me in the whole relationship arena, let me have fun and laugh, and kept me sane day by day, all the while when helping the billions of patrons we get to serve everyday. :) :) :) Val, meeting a book nerd like you who loves the same things I do, has been one of the greatest things I've done. We are kindred spirits and I think we will always be. Tristan, I haven't known you long but I think I will find a kindred spirit in you, too. :)
Rachel, meine Liebe. I could never forget about you. You would have thought that my German class would bring me such a dear friend? You have been such a good person for me, and I love you for it. You said that we're both sane and insane, and it's true. We may not have all of the the same interests, but we have loving souls that needed to meet and help each other. Thank you so much for letting me be an honorary roommate, always wanting to see and talk with me, and just being the loveable you. :)
Finally, last but not least, is my family, both immediate and extended who I consider some of the best people I know. I am fortunate to be close with my siblings and my cousins, and my grandparents and aunts and uncles are always wanting to know what I'm up to, and are some of the first to offer support. My siblings- Cate, Adam, Hannah, Matt, Mike, and Emma: you guys will always be my best friends in life, and I know that I can always depend on you. We are an intense bunch, but we love with a ferocity that you couldn't find anywhere else and that's what binds us so strongly together. Mom and Dad- I could ask for any ones better than you. You are the backbone of my life, and help me accomplish the goals I set, encouraging me along the way. I love you.
Thank you all so much! I know there are so many more people that I didn't mention who have also given me so much in my life. I'm very blessed by your actions and words everyday of my life. I love you all!
Monday, October 5, 2009
Fleeting Dreams
Autumn is the cruelest season.
The abundant warmth from summer endures.
Only the earliest of mornings and latest of nights Warn you of impending change.
The flaming maple leaves
Mesh with the still verdant oaks
In a pleasing kaleidoscope of color.
The metamorphosis seems a reverie of all good things to come.
You are blissfully unaware when
The air turns icy sharp and warm sun wanes,
Leaving you cold, numb.
Those fleeting summer dreams, once vibrant as hope itself,
Are now nondescript gray-brown.
They fall, down and down,
To be trodden on and left to rot.
The world's beauty has gone to sleep,
And your dreams with it.
Sorry if this is a bit depressing, I've had some feelings that have needed to come out for a long time, and the change of seasons seemed to fit my mood. Autumn is actually my favorite time of year, but I realized the other day that in the midst of all of the changing leaves and spicy smells, Autumn is really just the dying season before Winter.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Attack of the Chicken People
Dedicated to my siblings. You know why.
We don't know exactly who started it.
We just know it's fun.Who needs expensive toys
When you have an old sweater
And lots of imagination?
Our abundant giggles paramount
To even deeper belly laughter.
Racing each other is harder than it looks.
Don't even ask about jumping.
Being ridiculous comes easily.
It's like we have jocularity
Instead of blood
Running through our veins.
No one is excluded or left out.
Everyone can play.
It's a perfect way to spend the day
As wonderfully silly
Chicken people.
You might notice that I'm on a poetry kick right now. I don't know exactly why, maybe it's because I have a little more time on my hands than I used to. I now have more time to think AND write. :)
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